Should You Build a Secret Room in Your Home?
Secret rooms in a home can be for storage, study, security, and as a place to change clothes into your super-suit! Here are some other ways that a secret room could come in handy in your home.
When you’re staring into the gaping maw of home renovations, it’s easy to get lost in the planning stages. There are so many important questions to ask of what you need your home to do for you.
Unfortunately, one question all too many homeowners fail to give enough consideration to is whether or not they should build a secret room in their home.
Thank goodness you have me. I’m here to steer you right and help you give this critical question all the serious consideration it deserves. So. Should you build a secret home in your room?
Are you a superhero?
Let’s face it. These are troubling times, and our superheros need all the organization they can get. If you’re a superhero, then the answer is absolutely “yes.” You sure do need a secret room.
With this kind of ambivalence, your Justice League membership is threatened.
Don’t forget to look into some lead walls and back-up generators for any hydraulic doors. Design is everything.
Are you a covert operative?
Whether you’re bankrolled by the Men in Black, MI5, or even some evil member of C.O.B.R.A., the whole point of being a covert operative is being covert. This means secret rooms. Duh.
If you’re a spy or other international (wo)man of mystery, you’ll need a secret spot to be so secretive that’ll never get found. Whether it’s a concealed panel in a wall, a moving bookshelf that opens to a secure room, or just a trapdoor in the attic, your secret room will need to have all the bells and whistles needed for espionage. Bonus points if you have a microfiche reader and a black-light-illuminated desk for writing with invisible ink.
Are you a doomsday prepper?
When the aliens come, the bombs explode, the skies rain hellfire, and all that end-of-the-world stuff happens, your secret safe room with its endless stores of foodstuffs, Twinkies, and board games will ensure that you and the cockroaches are all that remain for rebuilding civilization. You’ll be the envy of the neighborhood, except they’ll never know, because your secret room is a secret, of course.
The time to prepare is now! We’ve all seen Red Dawn, man. It’s just a matter of when.
I daresay it’s your civic duty to build a secret room. The fate of mankind rests on you and your collection of tinned stews and stockpiled weapons. Wolveri-i-i-i-ines!
Are you a villain?
Are you hatching a plan to turn a building into a vortex for the afterworld? Do you intend to blow up a bridge or building for financial reasons or just because you’re not a nice guy? Do you speak with a German, Korean, or Russian accent?
Then you need a secret room to work covertly on your diabolical schemes to wreak havoc on the world at large. It’ll require a large counter for mixing questionable potions, wiring explosives, or poring over blueprints for vulnerable targets. A mini-fridge would be helpful for long nights of maniacal master-planning.
Do you have children?
If you’re not a superhero, a spy, a villain, or the saviour of all mankind, I bet you $10 that your five-year-old is. Now any heroic boy or girl really does deserve a secret hideaway filled with books, adventure tools, and games. A concealed entrance, no windows, dramatic lighting, and comfortable pillows to lounge around on. Provide this, and you might become a superparent, able to leap awesomeness in a single bound.
Simply put, the answer is always yes
Whether it’s for kids playing, or simply a good place for hiding your important documents and personal belongings, hidden rooms are actually really cool and make for a great selling feature on any home. Or I think so, anyhow.
After all, you never know when a superhero or international agent of espionage is looking for a new home.
If your home renovation plans don’t include adding a secret room, you’re doing it wrong. Take it from us, we know about these things.
[insert secret handshake here]
Over and out.